Creating happiness through awareness & empowerment.
Sharing smiles all over the world!
Where is that starting point where you lose yourself or have lost yourself? I find it hard to determine this moment for myself. It happened slowly and along the way. We go through many stages and make decisions in our lives that change our perspective and allow us to have new experiences. Some good, some bad, some mediocre. They all have an influence though and sculpt us into the person we are today.
Ever since I was a little girl, I have lived in the moment. I would come at a crossroads and immediately knew which way to explore and then made a decision. Easily and without hesitation and I stood behind them 100%. This changed once I got into a relationship in which I lost myself. Like I said earlier, it happened gradually and I wasn’t even aware of the changes within me. It might sound strange, but I am so very grateful for this experience and it occurring early on, because had it not happened in that particular relationship, it would’ve happened a lot later on in life…it was inevitable.
After the relationship ended, I spiraled even more downwards. I switched jobs like it was candy and after every switch I reflected time and time again and never seemed to be able to find the problem or what I could’ve done differently to avoid yet another ‘failure’. Because that is how I felt, like a failure. Every attempt to find a job in which I was at least 65% of the time happy seemed to end in disappointment. One day I broke down and I started crying like a maniac in the car on my way to my new job. I had to pull it over to calm myself down. At that moment, I was thankfully on the phone with my beloved cousin, who is like my sister and my best friend all in one. She understands me like no other and was able to make me realize I had to say ‘STOP’!
Stop to everything. There was no way around it, I had reached the end of my seemingly unstoppable amount of positive energy. After several sessions with a coach it became clear that I had overstepped all of my limits and needed to learn to be nice to myself again. Till that point I had always been a perfectionist. At least when it comes to those things I did well. I thought (and fortunately now again believe) that I can do anything I set my mind to. It’s always been like that and all of a sudden I had lost that trust in myself. Not so all of a sudden, but little did I know at that point I had surpassed that feeling years ago…
Slowly I crawled back up. I took on a simple position in a company I would never have envisioned for myself. Letting go of that constant pressure of having to have that job that fits into society’s image of being ‘worthy’. This worked for a while. I took the time to be kind to myself again and it was great! Until it wasn’t….
‘What if I would die tomorrow, what do I have to show for it?’
I felt deeply unhappy at the core. But why? I had asked myself this question so many times and for the life of me I couldn’t answer it. On paper my life was amazing. Knowing that my body was healthy, having a family that loves me, amazing friends that are always there for me, a great apartment where I feel at home and at that point I had an easy going job, with nice colleagues…so how come I felt that way?
Thoughts like ‘What’s the meaning of life?’, ‘Why am I here?’, ‘What am I doing?’ started to pop up in my head more frequently and I didn’t have an answer. All I knew was that I felt unhappy and was just going through the motions. New thoughts arose:
**It’s not enough** **I want to help**
**I want to belong** **I want to share**
‘I want to live in a world that John Lennon is talking about in his song ‘Imagine’ …..and I did!
That was the true starting point of Truly Feel Good.
We have a choice! Every day, every minute. When we finally realize that and take control, we take back the power and we open up our hearts to the love and gratitude we once felt as a kid. Remember? When you didn’t have any adult issues to worry about?! That’s what this project is all about. Reconnecting with that inner child that is free of judgement. Enjoying the little things in life, being who you are and being more than okay with that.
Children are our best examples. They are unbiased and truly live in the moment. My little niece of three is actually my biggest role model. She shows me unconditional love time and time again. It warms my heart just thinking of her and the warmth that she shares. Not just with me but everyone that comes in contact with her. She made me realize that I have those qualities within me, I just sometimes tend to forget them. I was a kid once and a very happy one at that. I kind of still am a child at heart and this is part of why I once again can find happiness in the smallest of things and feel truly happy. It’s not the large things in life that make us happy, it really isn’t. It’s the capability of enjoying everything that surrounds us.
That is why I am doing what I am doing. I want to help others feel those feelings again too. The ones that you felt when you were a kid, focussing on what truly matters. You have it in you. Just like I do, just like everyone in this world does. So let’s start sharing this wonderful feeling and give a little bit of happiness everywhere we go….
Read more about Truly Feel Good here