About friends without benefits

We’ve all had them; relationships with people from the opposite sex. They present themselves in different ways and can surprise you at times. They can also make for a very confusing dinner where relationships are just not what they seem...

Tuesday night! Kevin and Amy are sitting at the bar almost done with their first (or maybe second) glass of Rosé. Kat had picked me up from the hostel so we could meet up with them together. Even though Kat knows how to drive in New York (like a controlled maniac)….we’re late! Amy and Kevin don’t seem to mind though. They’ve known Kat for a very long time and, just like my friends know I’m always late, they are not at all surprised that Kat and I arrive about half passed our meeting time.

My good friend Leslie (who also lived in The Netherlands) connected me with Kevin and Amy. They have both been living and working in New York for a long time and have a lot of connections and can hopefully help me figure out which path I should pursue and how to pursue it. Leslie has known both of them since she was little and whenever she talks about either one of them it’s always in one breath… Kevin & Amy or Amy & Kevin. Last time I was in New York, I either met both or one of them but I can’t remember the dynamics because that night, back in 2011, I met a lot of new people and the alcohol was flowing. Sue me!

Either way, we go to our table and order some drinks and appetizers. The conversation is easy going and flowing in all sorts of directions. We discuss the wine, the food and our jobs (well their jobs..) and in between there are individual conversations going on. Amy tells me that they love New York and everything that it entails and that she and Kevin frequently go to Montauk for the weekend and chill at Kevin’s parents’ beach house.

In the meantime, Kevin and Amy finish their glass, look at each other and decide to order a bottle. They seem so in sync, it looks like they have something nice going on. “So was it love at first sight for you two?” I was busy with my food, so I didn’t see any expressions. Kevin laughs a bit and says “We’re not dating” but it went so fast and he keeps on talking about work and stuff.  I must not have heard that correctly….or did I?! Amy throws in some comments later on, which indicate that they don’t live together. Well that’s pretty common, but are they…or are they not dating? I’m totally confused!

Everything either one of them says is in the ‘we’ form and they keep sharing these ‘we know’ types of looks. But still….I am afraid to ask any more questions related to that topic but I’ve put my sensors on ‘high’. What is the deal here?

A bottle of wine and somewhat glasses later we’re all standing outside of the restaurant. Amy and Kevin look at each other, “We’re going for another drink right?!”. “Goodnight you guys!” and off they are! They obviously wanna finish the night on a romantic note…or something like that??? I can’t be more confused and ask Kat “What’s the deal with those two??”.

Kat looks at me and bursts out laughing “Oh god, you’re so funny! I had to contain myself when you asked them about the love at first sight thing wahaha. Kevin is gay, Mo! I knew it!!! My Radar is not totally malfunctioning…. “But I can see why you’d think that they’re boyfriend and girlfriend”, Kat continuous. They do everything together that every romantically involved couple does. They sleep in the same bed and all…they just don’t have sex”. So yeah, friends & no benefits it is! But hey as long as it works for them…. : )
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