Usually I meet guys in town while dancing, at festivals, or well even on Tinder. The latter I really don’t take seriously. It’s a fun way to get rid of my boredom when traveling or when I’m not actually doing anything. Seeing that I don’t believe I’ll find my prince charming (if he exists) over there, I don’t talk to the guys that I have a match with unless they talk to me. This one time though, things were different….
He had an ugly name, but hey, that’s not his fault…he looked good, seemed confident and had the right words posted underneath his first picture. Our talk was okay and seemed to be flowing. Things went south quickly though, once I mentioned the kid in one of the other pictures…“What’s your boy’s name? He’s cute!”.
Mr ‘Ugly name’ did not seem amused when he told me his girls’ name was Felina. If you don’t want people to think your girl is a boy, then don’t dress her like one….I laughed and said “How ironic, since Felina means girl in Spanish” (at least that’s what my Mexican girlfriends told me). I got a “Haha” and was consequently removed from his Tinder list! Perfect, I don’t like guys that don’t have a sense of humor anyways….
A year or so passes by and I’m back on Tinder in Dutchland and there he is Mr. ‘Ugly name and no sense of humor.’ I can’t help but go for the “Like” button. Just to see what happens…“It’s a match” pops up on my screen. What the….seriously?!
The next day or so Mr. ‘Ugly name and no sense of humor’ goes “Hey” and we start chatting as if he hadn’t kicked me off. No explanation, no “Hey sorry, I accidentally kicked you off, am so glad to see you here again”. Nothing! I’m amused and quite frankly really curious if he even remembers me. “How’s Felina?” I go tauntingly. All I get is a “She’s fine” plus another snippy remark that her brother is also doing fine! Oops! Forgot about the second one, ah well. Still didn’t get what I wanted from him though…
Eventually, I ask him straight up. “Yeah, yeah. I remember, just was fed up with Tinder and removed it.” Ah, ok…fair enough. A bit rude not to say bye, but okay…I’m all about second ( and sometimes even third and fourth) chances. Once the topic is redirected from his kids, he actually seems alright and it doesn’t take long for him to tell me he wants to be my first Tinder date. I’m all up for some fun and have nothing to lose, so why not?! A date, a time and a place is set…It is on!!!
Date night arrives…I’m not really in the mood, because the guy seems kinda lame from the chats that followed and I truly wonder if we’ll have a fun night. But it’s my birthday at midnight, so I do hope he’s fun enough to raise my glass with at ‘Happy Mo o’clock!’ So time to suck it up and get into the mood! Finding the right ‘casual but cute’ outfit always helps. Crappy thing is, it also makes me late…
Quickly I send him a text while riding my bike “I might be a tiny bit late, on my way now!” The check marks turned blue, so I know he read it… I arrive one minute past 8 and am so proud of myself!! I walk inside to see if he’s there. Oh, crap! There’s a guy sitting there all by his lonesome looking like he’s waiting for someone. Truly hope that’s not him, ‘cause he doesn’t at all look like Mr. ‘My name is ugly, but look at me looking at you through the lens of the camera’. Another text message it is, to see if Mr. ‘All by my lonesome’ checks his phone… “Haha I even beat you to it. Inside or out?”. No ‘double check marks’. He’s not getting my messages. Weird. But thank god, Mr. ‘All by my lonesome’ is no longer alone. At least I’m not being catfished!
While the waitress takes my order I decide to check Tinder and there it is….Mr. ‘Ugly name with no sense of humor’ is no longer present in my list of matches on Tinder. Wahahaha oh my god, I got stood up!!! “Here’s your Chardonnay!” the waitress goes. “Thank you! I love your pants by the way, where did you get them? I’ve been looking everywhere for those!” At least this wasn’t a total waste of time…
A couple of hours later I’m sitting at one of my favorite bars with my friends. The birthday song kicks in and our bartender gives me a delicious ‘It’s your birthday cocktail’. People are congratulating me and I’m receiving hugs from the Irish guys we just met….thank god for being stood up by Mr. ‘Lame ass no balls’!!!! Happy birthday to me : )