Beams of warm purple light are boosting up from my hands towards the sky. The outsides are dark purple and the color shifts going inwards to a brighter purple and eventually it’s all white light. Seeing that I’m at the beautiful island of Koh Pha Ngan, one could assume that they are some sort of fluorescent lights used for the Full Moon party, as that’s what the island is mostly known for, but it couldn’t be further from the truth….
“Goodbye Moniii, I hope you come back okay?!” None, the manager of ‘Taya’s Place’, says to me after I give him a big hug. Yes, that’s really his name! All packed with two bags and my Uke, I hop on the motorbike that’s going to take me to the next location.
Sri Thanu- The place where all the healthy stuff happens and most people miss out on ‘cause they’re either too hungover from the Full/Half/Black Moon party or they don’t even know about it. Another possibility is that they don’t care about this stuff, but I most definitely do! And so does Tess, the wonderful specimen that I met at Khao Sok, who made me change my plans in an instant, so we could finish our conversations and start new ones.
“I feel like we’re such cool travelers like this, riding our bikes with all our stuff!” I yell excitedly over the engines of the motorbikes. “ We áre cool!!!” Tess replies. Woohooo! We continue driving with the biggest smiles on our faces until Tess finds the spot, right when she was about to look for directions on Maps.me.
The little cabin, practically on the beach, will be our home for the next few days. We came here to do yoga and participate in meditation sessions. Tess (short for Tessel- Love that name!) had booked a yoga retreat in Bali, but she got sick and ended up hardly doing anything. Last time I was here I got Dengue fever and well, you can guess what happened to my plans to explore and do yoga…nothing! So round two for both of us.
“ Ah you’re back” the receptionist of ‘Samma Karuna’ says, who works here voluntarily. “ I remember you two.” She tells us that our two hour session is in the ‘Awakening Hall’, where we head after a short sanitary stop. “ Hi beautiful, did you remember to turn off the lights?” a little piece of paper pasted onto the mirror asks me. Well it’s bright out so I didn’t turn on any lights, but thanks for calling me beautiful, I smile to my reflection in the mirror. Wonderful how little messages like these can make us instantly feel great! Well at least me. I should use that for my airbnb!
Inspired by the little note and interested in what awaits us in the ‘Awakening Hall’, I step into the dark room. A few rays of sun shine through the holes where the curtains are attached to the railing. “ We start dancing. Don’t speak and later I will explain what we’ll do next” the teacher tells us. Just dance?! Haha okay I can definitely do that! I love to dance and seeing the open space reminds me of how I always dance in my own living room as if I’m a Ballerina/ Modern dancer/Hip Hopper. Needless to say, I’m in my element! I look over at Tess and she’s loving it too. She’s actually a true dancer- like did competitions and all, so no worries about how she’s feeling there : )
We’re in a small group and it makes me feel comfortable enough to almost dance like I do at home. Everybody let’s lose and it’s exhilarating. Tess has the biggest smile on her face too and the older man next to me looks me in the eye while we sing along to ‘It’s my life” by Bon Jovi. He said don’t speak, he didn’t say anything about singing….
“ First, I will show you the motions that we are going to go through, and then you can do them yourself. What happens, if you allow the shaking, is that you will feel extremely energized and in touch with what I call the divine.” I already feel that way right now! I think to myself when I feel my body tingling from tip to toe. Once again dancing and singing have proved to be my happiness drug.
We go through the movements and he pushes us to move our bodies in such a way that the muscles contract and our bodies start to shake. In the upward position where you arch your back I can feel that I have to bend backwards incredibly far before anything actually happens. After about half an hour or so he switches the music and seeing that the shaking hardly happens for me naturally, I decide to vigorously shake my derriere and just enjoy the dancing.
We dance/ shake on like that for a while, when the music shifts to a more relaxing beat, making me want to lie down on the floor. It is then when I feel the beams of warm purple light shining from my palms to the ceiling and it feels terrific. Even though I didn’t practice the Osho Kundalini the way I should have, something did happen and I feel the energy flow through me. “ Please sit up everyone” the teacher asks. Ah shucks, I was enjoying this.
Joe Cocker’s “You are so beautiful” starts blasting through the room. The teacher looks at me with kind eyes and a soft smile on his face and all of a sudden my body responds intensely. It builds up from my stomach like a heavy lump that needs to go out. Before I know it, a few drops splash onto my crossed legs and I let it happen. In that moment I didn’t understand why I was reacting the way I was. Upon reflection, I realize that the song opened some of the scar tissue left on my heart from all the times I felt rejected in life.
I’ve experienced this before through song, that deep rooted pain that’s released. How wonderful it feels to let that go. All it takes is being in touch with your body and mind, allowing yourself to feel and then letting it seep away naturally. What I love about this particular session, is that it has once again shown me that you don’t have to do everything the way “you’re supposed to”. Just listen to your instincts and follow your own path. Whatever works for you, works for you and no one can tell you otherwise. Namaste!